Life Forensics:


Because the unexamined
life is not worth living

  June 20, 2007

I mean to tell you, I am just poutin' fit to die.

I used to be friends with a guy who was a family therapist, psychologist type of person and I say "used to" not because we "broke up" as friends or anything like that but because the sumbitch had the audacity to up and DIE on me, not only rendering our perfectly good friendship to be more cumbersome, but also leaving me terrified of having a heart attack in my 50's, especially since my daddy died of one when he was 51. That's right, people, 51.  Mama died at 60 of a system infection that came from having her stomach lining cauterized repeatedly due to it being eroded away from the 87,000 or so different kinds of prescription medications she took in her life, so I'm not only an orphan, but I'm an orphan with one of those "dying early" legacies, one I have no intention of carrying out.  So Ken (that was my friend's name) used to say, "Are you enjoying your depression or do you want to do something about it?"

Now Ken had the capacity to be a smart ass, but he wasn't employing it when he asked that question of his patients and once, of me.  He truly wanted to know because he was wise enough of a man not only to have me as a friend (good move on anyone's part, let me tell you), but also to know that every so often when you are having a bad streak, you need to just put on your prettiest dress and your party panties and go fling yourself down in a mud puddle had have a good, wailing cry, the "I'm gonna eat some worms" routine.

After my second marriage to the same guy ended early on in 1996, I worked like mad to get my life to a good place and keep it there.  It wasn't so much a "living well is the best revenge" thing, but more of a "living well is, well, living well" thing.  I'd been miserable and broke and had a bad case of the "can't help it's" for a long time and I just decided that no matter what it took, I was going to work up the life I really wanted for myself...and I did it.  Of course, there were things that went wrong, but there's always gonna be and when a person resigns themselves to the fact that bumps and potholes are a normal part of the human existence, you can endure them better.  That helps you to be good with that whole idea of life being a wheel and sometimes you're on top of the wheel, looking down, King of all you survey and sometimes, you're on the bottom of the wheel, getting splattered with the mud and looking up at the jackals on top and wishing you were up there with them and sometimes, more rarely, you're under the wheel and the whole weight of it is bearing down on you and you're face is in the mud and your back is being crushed and you just want to die.

The good news is that the ol' wheel just keeps turning and pretty soon, you're on top again if you just brace yourself and wait it out.   The best you can hope for is to not do any damage when you're under the wheel that you're going to regret when you're on top again.

That all being the case, sometimes, when you're waiting, you just have to have a little tantrum to let off some steam and that's about where I am these days.

There are lots of things in particular and everything in general that has me blue.  Yes, I got myself to a good place and enjoyed my life thoroughly, but due to some choices I made that I don't really regret overall, it's not where I am right now. 

Ken also taught me about the Laws of Existentialism, only three of which I can remember (there were 5) and I think he might have actually made them up because I can't find anything about the specific ones he mentioned online:

1) You can't have everything you want all at once.   No matter how happy you are at any given point in your life, there will always be something missing, whether it's something you actively want or something your spirit wants and you have resigned yourself to not having because you think you can't.

2)  You can't have everything you want sequentially.  Even if you get what you want one thing after another after another, because your life changes when you get things you want, you might find that you no longer want the things you thought you wanted or else you develop new things you want as a result/outcropping of the things you wanted and got.

3)  Every choice is bittersweet.   We make choices, big and small, all through the day and every single time we do, we give up a lot of other things as a result.  If we go into Coldstone (mmmm, Coldstone...) and choose the caramel turtle surprise, we don't get the other flavors of ice cream available.  It doesn't mean that we aren't full; just that sometimes, we're thinking some strawberry might have been nice as well.  If we choose to marry the love of our lives, there are distinct benefits to being single that we surrender.  If we move to Grizzly Flats, it's wonderful and healing, but we also have to drive 20+ minutes to get a gallon of milk. 

I have often thought about those principles and applied them in my life.  If we are constantly lusting after the things we can't have, no matter what they are, we live a life that is unfulfilled because by the basic nature of life, there will always be things we do not have, therefore, we are never really satisfied. 

On the other hand, if we become too complacent with how our lives are and what we have, we can become stagnated and never grow or aspire to have more or be more or different.  There's such a fine line in becoming peaceful with our place in the world and what we are able to accomplish versus becoming dim-eyed and lackluster, unwilling to learn more or be more or do more in this world.

Rarely is anything acquired without a sacrifice of some kind; it is just to us to decide whether the purchase is worth the payment required.  The biggest problem is that sometimes situations are wrapped up and marketed nicely, but you get them home and open them up and find out they're not what you expected.

So I'm sitting in my mud puddle, having a little snit, mostly because I'm running my ass all over the place all the time and never have alone time or time to write any more and I miss both of those things dreadfully.  I have no me time, no non-kid time and no quiet time whatsoever and as I have gotten older, my little spirit just shrivels up and dies without those. 

I love my kiddies to death and one of the best things I did was to raise people I like to talk to and spend time with, but I also like my time alone and that just isn't happening. 

Like yesterday:  I had to be at the post office at 7:45am to begin a training day (one of many).  At 11am, after sorting many thousands of pieces of mail, I started sorting and pulling down from the casement the mail for my mail route.  Then I delivered the top part of Grizzly Flat Road and left the remainder for Eric to deliver because he drives right past those houses doing the Somerset route. I raced home and hit the computer and spent the next two hours pasting little black dots onto tiny bingo cards to create the list of 10 games we were going to play at Bingo that night.  They look like this:

And yes, every one of those little frickin dots have to be pasted onto the blank card one at a time.  Not to mention that I have to try and figure out Bingo configurations that use all letters:


Because if I don't and there are rows that aren't used (like the B&O Railroad pattern where you only do the B row and the O road), then the callers have to remember not to call any numbers that are in the I, N or G rows and if they forget, the players fuss at them and then the callers get upset and all kinds of Bingo Melee breaks out.  I'm seriously running out of patterns here.  There are only so many things you can do with 25 dots.

Got the dots done and hurried over to the school to meet Robin there and get things set up for Bingo.  An hour and a half later, I still wasn't done, but I had to go take one of Delena's friends down to the Somerset store to meet up with her mother so she could go home after staying the night with us.  I got her delivered somewhat on time and then ran out to Holiday to pick up some essentials.  Got home, snipped up some rotisserie chicken and dumped out some cole slaw, French rolls and jojo potatoes for the family to eat and then hurried back to the school by 5pm to finish setting up before people arrived at 5:30.

I got done just a breath of an instant before arrivals, then came the actual Bingo event, which is always great fun and I left there at 9:30, came home, sat in the spa with Eric unable to aptly (to the male mind, anyway) articulate my frustration, cried a bit, then went to bed. 

That is exactly how my days have been lately...every day.

There is no time to exercise unless I wake up even earlier to do it and if I do that, I am going to ripen and rot on the vine.

There is no time to write, except today, which is a lovely oasis in the Land of Busy, for which I am truly grateful.

Tomorrow looks very similar to yesterday, except that I work in the afternoon, then hurry off to Burger Night to help set up and work the bake sale and the serving line. 

In addition to all of that going on, my cat, one of my favorites, has been missing for about 4 days, which all of you can figure out is not good at all.  He's young and healthy, but so are mountain lines, skunks and dogs around here.  The biggest concern would not likely be any injuries he sustained in a fight, but probably dehydration if he can't get to water.

If you have seen a largish blue-grey, very handsome neutered mail cat, his mama misses him.  Nah, I don't hold out hope, but I sure do miss that fella.

The happiest thing that has happened this week, other than the obvious things of my kids being healthy and happy and no life or limb injuries occurring, is that my friend, Jackie, left some really whorey looking shoes for me and Lord (and Jackie) knows I love me some good whore shoes, especially ones like these that are comfortable.  I must speak to her about getting a pair in every single color of the rainbow.

You just can't have too many pairs of whore shoes and that, my friends, is a full on natural fact.

I am looking out onto next week, which is another sea of activity, as is the next one, and trying not to be overly depressed.  No, it is not the quiet, sedate life I chose and manufactured for myself, but it's what I've been called to do for the time being and I am working to make my peace with it.  July is just a monster of a month as far as things going on and it is my hope that August 1st will bring the beginning of the quiet for me.

Yes, my GFORCE girlfriends and I will be planning Founders Day (Sept 22, mark your calendars), but we are experts at such things now, plus we have the Queen Mothers to help us out and that is just a Godsend of astronomical proportions, so I know it will be tons easier (and more fun) than last year.

Other than that and my birthday coming up (and Dylan's and Nathan's), I am seriously looking toward some life mellowing.

I was thinking today about all of this in connection with the Summer Solstice, which is today if you happen to live under a rock and are not aware of such things.

The Moon is considered to be a feminine element and the Sun is considered to be a masculine element, so if we look at the energy that is around this time when the Sun is at its strongest and the masculine energy of the year is peaking, it would make sense that what we would be called to do is to reflect that masculine energy in some way.  Historically, men are the hunter/gatherers, so going out there in the world and being busy is I guess, historically, a man thing. 

It then stands to reason that the Winter Solstice, when the Sun is at its time of the year when it is most hidden, would be the strongest female energy when we stay inside with hearth and home, healing, eating good food, sharing stories and company and nurturing one another while the snow falls and the roads are impassable. 

I have to say, it never fails to impress me how the hand of God guides us through the seasons and cycles that have been laid out before us, worn into the fabric of time like wagon ruts by those who experienced them for decades and even centuries before us.  I have long believed that there are currents of behaviors natural to humans that follow the agricultural seasons, even if we do not literally farm.  It's a collective, genetic knowledge that has been made indigenous to humans and when we find that flow and follow it through our lives, it puts us more in tune with Nature and The Universe and as a result, more in touch with our own human spirits and with God.   

My instinct, given that knowledge, is to step up to the plate and "take it like a man," since this is the time of the High Sun, the longest day of the year when masculine energy is at its strongest.  I should stop whining and just do what needs to be done with a joyful heart and willing hands, grateful for the opportunity to serve and be a part of our world.

Maybe tomorrow.  Right now, I'm going to fight the urge to drive myself over to Liz Lawless' house and beg her for a frozen Neiman Marcus bar that I know for a fact she has in her freezer for Burger Night tomorrow.  She'd give it to me too, I know, but I still can't understand how that 2-3 ounce bar turns to 2-3 pounds once it gets to my ass.

So I'd better not.

I'll eat worms instead.

Be particular,


June 14, 2007

Well, THAT was about as dismal as I expected it to be.  Monday and Tuesday were my training days for my new notjob.  I spent two days, 8 hours a day, listening to the people around me be trained on material that has absolutely nothing to do with what I will be doing up here in Grizzly Flats on the 4-5 days a year I'll work as a PMR.  It was so boring I wanted to pull my eyes out with olive forks.  Plus, the one thing I actually needed from the training, my badge, was one of about 3-4 that the badge making person didn't get finished before going on leave, so it will be mailed to my "facility."  Yeah, sure it will.  If there's one thing the postal service does poorly, it's schlepping out their own shipments. 

I'll have 20 hours of training next week to complete my foray into the workforce, albeit temporary.  This week, I spent $80 on babysitting and gasoline for the 2 days and made about $120 before taxes and all that is taken out of a check.  I should be better with the training since I won't have to use much gas.  This definitely falls into the "why am I doing this again??" category to which my answer is "______?" because I just don't know.

Still no sign of the reason why.

Because of the times during which the orientation fell, I had dense traffic going there and coming home.  Each time, I had to make a stop on the way home for vital groceries that I didn't realize we needed the day before.

I dragged home depleted and drained.  Wednesday (yesterday), I'd offered to watch the 2 kids of my girlfriend who (there's a trend) had an orientation in town.  It wasn't that tough because her kids are the age of my sons and her kids are almost invisible.  Really good kids.  I was tired, so I posted EOS and Diva Digest columns that were sent to me and lolled about a good bit.  At 2pm, I had a GFORCE meeting to chair and that took a couple of hours.  When I got home, Eric was all aflutter getting ready to start a new job today, so he rushed around pissed off at me for not knowing where his vice grips are, not knowing where his duct tape is...  yes, yes, my uterus has a tracking system for all of his tools and supplies, but it was evidently out of order for the afternoon, so he was fussy.

I have more to say, which I will definitely make time to say later.  Right now, I miss me and I need to find me again.  Instead of me, there's someone sitting here with a lot of useless info about the postal service running through her head, pushing out the vitally important information like "where are the vice grips and the duct tape?"

But I do know the postal service made a 1 billion dollar profit in 2005 and it costs $6 billion dollars a day to run the company.  That doesn't include the $9 per hour they will pay me a few times a year.

That should help the vice grips situation incredibly.

Be Particular,

June 6, 2007

What did I say about life settling down?

Overall, things are OK, but it has been anything but mellow. 

Yesterday, I drove into darkest West Sacramento (about 90 minutes one way with no traffic, which I was fortunate enough to experience) to be processed in for a PMR (Post Master Relief) job at our local post office.  It's the Grizzly Flats office where I sometimes do the carrier route.  Basically, I went way far out of my way to apply for a job that I don't want and which provides no visible benefits to me.  I'll go even more out of my way next week when I have TWO DAYS of training down there; training that starts at 7:30am, meaning I have to leave here at 6am. 

The money is crap.  There are no fringe benefits.  I have on interest in doing it at all.  In fact, the post master has spent the past several months illustrating to me without compromise how this job has ruined her life and made her crazy.  Yet this same post master has been without anyone to watch the shop while she goes to appointments or takes sick leave (except my friend, Kim, who is pretty much just a Saturday person since she baby sits through the week) and so I told her I would go through the process and train so that I can take over from time to time. 

At first, I thought I was going to be able to buy into the group medical plan, but I have learned that is not the case, so pretty much, it's just from a "do-good" point of view.  If you've read this journal for any amount of time, you know that I'm not a very nice person and I don't do things just to be perceived as nice, so this is pretty far out of character for me and I have no clue why I am compelled to do it.   I only get paid $9 an hour (I was making that much somewhere around 1994 and I remember being ecstatic the first time my hourly wage broke the $10.00 window).  I will be in an "on call" status and I can decline if I get called.  I am not excited about it, but I feel led to do it, so off  I went yesterday to process.  It's some kind of calling and there is some reason why I need to do it, I just can't see it yet and I'm not about to balk and question and worry this into the ground.  When I'm led by the Universe to do something, I do it and think about it later.

At the age of 45 and after decades in the work force (and taking the last decade off), I actually had my first drug test today.  I found myself worrying whether or not any of the vitamin supplements I take would mimic the drugs for which I was being tested.  When she told me the results, I wondered if it would ill-advised to say, "What???  It was NEGATIVE?  How is that POSSIBLE?"

(As an aside, these kids are driving me crazy, by the way, specifically Nathan who evidently never, ever stops talking.  Who knew?)

It's been hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell lately, so I got dressed in my capris (screw it, I already had the job, I didn't need to impress anyone) and  tank top, only to get outside and find that it was overcast, cold and dreary.  Knowing fully well that the weather up here is basically another country from the weather down in Sacramento, I didn't change and ended up freezing the rest of the day.

I made a conscious choice not to follow my diet yesterday and blew it all to hell.  In actuality, I probably only went about 500 calories over...let's see... nope, 600 over when you count the really tasty brownie I used to top off the night.  That takes me up to 1900 for the day.  It still isn't the amount of calories it takes to sustain my incredible weight, so I figure anything that doesn't exceed that is at least progress.

I did learn by doing some internet research that my very favorite McDonald's meal (a Big & Tasty, completely plain, a Filet-o-Fish, completely plain with no cheese, medium fries and a medium Coke) come in at just about 1000 calories.  Yikes!  I won't be doing that again, not that I could eat that much at this point anyway. 

I found this wonderful site:  It list all kinds of different foods and their nutritional information.  When I weighed in on Monday, the numbers had not budged from the results of the previous Monday, but I expected that since I was working out last week.  The actual scale reading always shows me as heavier when I start exercising.  I'm sure it will look happier this week or next as my body gets used to the strength training and walking.  Plus, I'll be sure and eat less today to help balance it out even more.

I started my calorie counting with a goal of 1800 calories a day, which is quite generous.  The following week, I dipped to 1500 calories a day and still did OK.  This week, I've been shooting for 1300 calories a day and have had a hard time making it happen.  I'm still consistently coming in at around 1500 calories, so I'm going to fine tune things a bit, hit the reset button and give it another try.

The worst case is that I'll stick to 1500 calories a day and I will still lose, it will just take me longer to get to my goal weight. 

The July 4th parade is coming up fast and The Queens and I are working hard on our attire for the float.  Queen Terrey found the perfect hooker dress while we were out thrift store shopping on Friday and I was completely jealous.  *I* found the perfect patriotic Queen dress on ebay, but in the last hour of bidding, it flew up out of my price range to $51 including shipping, which I can't really afford to spend on a dress I will only wear once a year.  I don't even spend that much on dresses I will wear every day.  I've never even spent that much on a WEDDING dress (although, I would now).  Still, it was amazing in its perfection.  Click the photo to see, then go, "Oh, what a SHAME she didn't get that!:

*Sigh*  I know.  It's just a damned shame.

There's even decoupage clock of Jesus next to it, so it is even divinely validated.

Of course, Jesus IS looking away from it, so maybe not.

Regardless, with some bright blue and white accessorizing, I could have been the very picture of Queenly Patrotism, but nooooo, some other floosie HAD to outbid me so they could wear this thing to their mother's funeral or some seedy bar.

Now, I have to start over again. I have a blue, full sequin dress I wore for the Christmas parade, but the neckline will have to be lowered and the hem would have to be raised and that just reeks of work to me.  Heaven would be a pair of size 8 1/2 majorette boots (red or white) to wear with it.  In about 2 weeks, I'm outside the window for ordering online, so I'm going to have to get crackin on this.  This time, we have 5 actual Queens on the float as Liberty Belle Queens, Delena as our Wannabelle and Eric as "Lance Romance," Official Consort to the Queens, who will be driving the pick up.  He has requested (and I shall find) a pimp hat to wear.

I am really feeling the pangs of not having my usual source of comfort available to me.  I hadn't realized how often I pop something into my mouth just to get a little rush of happy to get me through the day.  Of course, this has been the week that Eric is having issues and not being the nicest person to be around (the thing men do where they are unhappy about something and it must be your fault, so they keep flitting around to whatever possible thing you could be doing wrong and wearing it for a while, bitching to see if it takes, then moving on to the next thing).  Not having the little bits of happy in my day provided by a bite here and a handful there is really a pain.  I am not having specific food cravings, I'm having comfort cravings and nothing else is hitting the spot.  Got a pedicure.  Hid in my room with the covers over my head.  Took a long bath.  Went out to thrift shops with my girlfriends (who are also dieting).  Watched some good TV.  Nothing is working.  I still feel lacking and incomplete without the munching.  I hate going to the movies now and taking my little bag of baby carrots and my gallon bag of microwave popcorn while everyone else is eating Reese's Cups and movie popcorn.  The movie itself isn't any less enjoyable, but I'm in a room full of people who are loving their munchies and I'm there eating baby carrots. Yes, yes, yes I pep talk myself about how I am doing this for myself and this is just a couple of hours out of my life and the results will be worth it and blah blah blah, but the struggle sucks.  It's not really a struggle, because I know I'm not going to cave and fail.  It just sucks.

I have since found the 100 calorie packs of goodies and I'll likely take one (or two) of them next time to more closely emulate what I can't have.

I can't believe all of the summer projects Eric has planned.  Yesterday, he put two flower boxes on the front of the balcony.  He plans to build another storage shed (I'm officially into "see other shed" territory), paint that storage shed and the old one as well, paint the trim on the house, take the lattice work out on the balcony railing and replace it with slats, build a tree house for the boys, put a railing and slat fence thing around the top part of our deck out front so I can have my fountain and some plants up there without the deer having a banquet), painting the new railings, etc, around the deck and balcony to match the house, painting the back porch, staining the front deck...  He's going to be one busy guy and I really hope he will be able to get it all done because it sounds wonderful.  I'd love to step out onto my front deck and feel the plants and water up close to me like a little oasis.

The arbor he built over the gate to the rest of our back yard beyond the fencing came out great and the wisteria we planted around it really took off in growth this year.  One of them didn't make it, so he bought a "snail plant" to put in that area since there is some kind of wisteria shortage this year and it's wickedly expensive.

I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" last night and was quite happy with it for a number of reasons.  I'm revamping The Diva Digest and will have a review of it up there soon.  I'm talking to some of my very favorite "Divas" about writing there and I'm still putting it all together in the planning/refurbishing stages, so you'll be hearing about it before too long.

I was showing the design I chose to Sage and he liked it so well that he redid Sage's Place Dot Com with it.  Just remember, *I* had it first and *HE* is the copycat!

Gah.  It's getting late and I have to clean house today before taking Dylan to town.  Eric is sweet enough to do the Grizzly Flats mail today, so I am left to finish this entry, clean my house and get to town.  It actually makes for a productive and lovely day.

It's still overcast and drear, but there seems to be some blue sky over to the West, which is the direction I will be driving.  I feel a real need to have my environment organized and clean to allow me to think and create in a good physical place.  I can definitely invest a day or two into getting things that way for my own devices.  If it benefits the other people in my family, all the better.

Change has been calling to me lately.  I don't want to relocate (love my house, love my situation, love Grizzly Flats), but I want things to look differently than they do and have a little spice added here and there.  It's hard to feel a surge of creativity and known objectively that you are not a creatively talented person.  The extent of my abilities lie in cake decorating, which I do not enjoy, writing and web-design (the latter two not being conducive to a clean house because once I get going on it, I don't want to stop until it's done).  Artsy, craftsy, what goes great with this color things just don't work for me.  I'm dumb as a boot when it comes to home design and furniture placement and such.  Yet that is what I'm feeling called to change.

Next time I write, remind me to tell you about the beans.

For now, I'm off to clean and be impressive in my time management somehow.

Blessings and you know what comes next:

Be Particular,

May 29, 2007


Today is my first day of something like normalcy, or at least what will serve as "normal" for the summer.  There will be isolated bursts of activity, little islands of busy in a sea of mellow, but for the most part, it will be me, kids, beautiful mountain days and (based on this morning) the sound of Nathan's voice.  That child does so love to talk and his every sentence begins with, "Mom..." 

Dylan spent the night with a friend and Delena has begun her standard Summer schedule of being up all night working on all sorts of creative ventures (her latest involves syncing up Kingdom Hearts videos to favorite songs or wav files... she's quite good at it) and sleeping until late in the day.  She's always been a night owl and the early mornings she's forced into for school (5:45am wake up for 6:20 bus) about kills her.  She's wonderful about it and I never have to call her more than once, but it's really hard. This is much more to her nature, although I regret that I don't get to see much of her.

The last month of school was madness.  There was always something going on that involved me having to leave the house, whether it was teacher appreciation week or end of the year celebrations or drama finals or whatever.  Now, it's almost too abrupt of a stop, like thinking there's another step on the staircase and hitting the floor instead.

Not that I mind.  It's downright blissy, especially since Eric just called to tell me that the mail was light at his post office, so he can do my mail as well.  Day after a holiday Monday is always madness, so I was going to go in to lighten his load a bit.  Any more, he pretty much does the Grizzly Flats route for me as well, which is nice.

I'm behind on site posting and my house is in serious need of attention as to cleaning and laundry, so this will be brief.

I started meticulously watching my calorie intake this week and the result was a 3 pound weight loss, so I'm on board with doing that all the time.  It made for a lonnng week, but I only need to do that about 30-40 more times and I'll be at goal weight.  Eric walked with me yesterday, then mapped out the usual route that Andrea and I take and I was surprised to find that it's 2.5 miles long!  If I had known it was that far before I started walking that route, I would have sworn I could never do it, but now, I just feel tremendously accomplished!  My trick knee started to bother me on about the last quarter mile, but I found it was better if I walked on the soft shoulder instead of the pavement, so today when we walk, I'll bind up my knee with an Ace bandage and stick to walking in the dirt.  It takes us about an hour to walk it and I enjoy spending that time with him, so it goes fast.  On M, W and F, I also do an upper body workout with weights.  I think the squats and lunges are what threw out my knee, so I'm off of those for a good long while, at least until I have some significant weight loss.  My knees just aren't up for bearing that much weight for lunges and such and believe me, I am determined to protect my knees at all costs, especially since I do not have medical insurance.

We went to see the new Pirates movie yesterday and it was quite good. I don't know that I'd want to watch it over and over, but it was a very fitting ending to the saga and I enjoyed it muchly, even though the fight scenes went on for way too long and there was too much of a "Welcome to the Elizabeth Swan Show" effect to it.  There is one key point at the end of the movie where Will Turner rises up out of the sea and got one hell of a fine makeover while he was down there.  You'll see what I mean.

For now, I'm off to the rest of my day.  Now that life has settled down, I'll be able to write more and maybe even put a few philosophical thoughts together.  Ah, how lovely it would be to sit and ruminate again...

Have a wonderful (short) week and of course..

Be Particular,

Name: Katrina Rasbold
Location: Grizzly Flats, California

I am a happily married broad of a particular age who lives in a rural mountain community on the edge of the El Dorado National Forest.  Grizzly Flats was once a thriving mining town (think "Deadwood"), but is now a quiet, remote town with a few hundred year-round residents and several city folks with a country home up here where they come to rough it a few times a year.  No more saloons or hotels or livery stables, just an unmanned fire station, a 2 room schoolhouse, a ranger station and a post office. 

It's heaven.

I am a writer and webmaster.  I am also a rural route mail carrier and a student of life and the world around us. 

I deeply honor all religions and whatever (harming none) path others use to reach God and their most sacred selves.  I completely reject the premise that there is one path/ one religion that "fits all" and is the "right" one.  Just as people speak in different languages to one another, I believe God also speaks to us in different languages.  God knows us well enough to understand that our spirits vibrate on different levels and must be accessed in different ways with different words and practices. 

Mike Rowe ("Dirty Jobs"):  "Are you a religious man?"

Septic Tank Cleaner:  "No, but I am a spiritual man."