September 17, 2007

 I am taking the day off from remodeling and having a "vacation" by just doing regular housework for a change.  The chaos around me is driving me nuts.  Because I'm doing some work in the kitchen, lots of work in the bathroom (we have 1 that is for family use) and some work in the family room, it feels as though my entire house is in disarray.  Today, I am going to finish my steak and bagel sandwich while reading the "Go Fug Yourself" Emmy red carpet mentions, then I am going to take myself to bed, watch "Rescue Me" on my DVR and then take a nap.  When I wake up in a bit, I will reassemble my bathroom, put my curtains back up, clean my house and feel a whole lot better.

I had that phone interview for the transcriptionist job at 6:30 and at 6:25, I remember that it said in the instructions to turn off my privacy manager. Eeep!  I didn't have a clue how to do that and it turns out, you have to call a number and remember some password you came up with years ago to do it.  After several frantic tries, I managed to get it done at 6:29 by my clock.  The interviewer called around 20 seconds later.  The interview was projected to last around 20 minutes, but ended up taking about 35.  I didn't honestly feel as though it was going well because of my 13 year lapse in employment, among other things.  I couldn't remember anything about my productivity, in terms of how many lines a day we had to produce.  It was a long time ago and info I never expected to ever need again, so it's gone.  Also, I felt like an idiot when she asked me how much money I wanted to make doing this.  I literally blinked a bunch.  I had no idea, so I just told her that prior to applying, I had not researched the market and honestly had no idea what the going rate would be.  That's likely about the worst thing you can say to a prospective employer, but it was all I had at the moment.  Now I know the average is about 8-9 cents per line.  When I quit doing transcription in 1994, it was 6 cents per line, so that's about right, I guess.   So since 65 characters equals a line,  I would have made around $2 for what I've typed here so far this morning.

Anyway, we made it through the interview and she said that her notes would be reviewed and someone would let me know in an email whether or not I was progressing on to the next stage, which is to fill out an actual application for employment.  She said it would take up to a week for that to happen, but I actually got an email inviting me to fill out the application for employment to be eligible to receive an offer from the company.  It doesn't mean I'm hired.  It just means that they want to submit my name and package for consideration.  It was funny to fill out the application because, of course, they ask "How many employers have you had in the past ten years?"  Fat zero.  I did put down 1 and listed myself as self-employed as a web designer/journalist since 1998, which is when I started working for Soap Opera Central (if I remember correctly, it was a long time ago).   That's pretty much the problem.  I think of life changes in terms of other things going on at the time (I know I started working at Edwards the year after Delena was born, etc), but I've never been particularly good at keeping notes and dating everything, so my figures might be off.  Anyway, I thought that being self-employed looked better than being unemployed.  So the application is sent and the situation is out of my hands. 

It's weird to honestly not care one way or another whether I get this job.  The good points and bad points are so equally balanced that I don't have an opinion.  This is purely, 100% a "where ever I am led" situation.  Every other time I have applied for a job in my whole life, I have been nearly frantic to get it, so this is different.  Eric and I will get by OK if I don't get the job and I will continue to have time to devote to site work, home renovation and pursuing my own selfish needs and wants.  If I do get the job, I will have my own money for the first time in our marriage, which I will use to supplement the household budget so that I don't have to worry about the payday to payday thing or have a financial crisis if Eric has a lag between extra jobs.  It also takes that age-long issue of stay-at-home-moms not having a value in this world off the table.  I will be employed and that changes the dynamic between me and Eric in a way we have never experienced.  It also makes me feel more secure should something ever happen to him or to us.  Although I love lolling around being a lady of leisure, it's scary for someone else to hold nearly 100% of your financial security.  It's also a pretty antsy balance of power thing.  Good stuff; bad stuff, so I just leave it in the hands of the Goddess and trust that where ever I am led will be the best place.  I have gone through every motion put before me.  I could have said no at any time just as the process could have broken down at any time on their end as well.  It's still moving along, so I have to figure it's here for a reason.  The opportunity was presented to me so oddly and indirectly that I had to take notice of it.  Life rewards action, so I acted.  Now...we wait and see.

But now, we read Fug and take a nap.

Back to remodeling tomorrow!