August 5, 2008

Lord, I swear.  I keep telling myself every morning when I wake up that today will be a better day.  "It's going to be a GREAT day!!  Oh Laws Yes, I can feel it in my bones!  Miracles are everywhere, love abound and there is joy and celebration all around!"  Something or someone just isn't listening.

Probably me.  I think usually when we have problems with being out of balance or on a bad turn, it's because something is jacked up inside of us.  But what if -- just go with me on this -- what if it really is THEM and not ME?

Here's my horoscope for today:


Virgo Horoscope

Tuesday, Aug 5th, 2008 -- You may feel uneasy today because it is difficult for you to clearly state what you want. Part of the problem is that you know it's unlikely that anyone can deliver the goods to your expectations. However, it's possible that you can be so exacting that you inadvertently set yourself up for disappointment. You don't have to lower your standards to allow others a bit of flexibility in how they respond to you.

In other words, I've given up on the world and just don't give a shit any more.  I don't believe anyone can actually do anything right and that they're just going to screw it up anyway, so why bother asking for it?

I do like how the little icon is scowling at the world.  There's something about that that cheers me.

So it could be them, right?  Does it always have to be me?

A couple of decades ago, I used to have a chant I would do when it seemed like everyone around me had last their minds.  "I am surrounded by morons.  I am surrounded by morons."  Something about that caused everything to make sense.  How could I be angry with the people around me if they just didn't know any better and couldn't do any better and were just simple little things?

Then I grew up and understood that everyone around me isn't a moron and it's unkind and a radical disservice to chant such a thing and I might actually be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy and it's really fairly immature to blame all of your problems on others...

...but what if I AM actually surrounded by morons and what if they ARE the source of all of my angst?

How freeing would it be to have the suddenly realization of, "It's not me!  I'm perfectly sane!  I am the baseline of reality and these people are NUTS!"  I want a T-shirt that says, "It's not me, it's you."

Yes, that would be precious because then you could feel sorry for the poor little souls are just rolling around jacking up everything.  I sound like I should be on Dr. Phil's chair getting booed by the audience. 

The irritations are rampant and I feel, valid.  My favorite fountain stopped working.  It was almost new.  The kids' Wii is not wanting to read disks.  I suspect they've actually worn it out this summer.  The kids' video card on their computer was not up to par to play the game Nathan bought with his allowance, so I let him install it to my computer and he was bugging the crap out of me wanting to play it all the time.  He's almost 9 and well, that's what they DO, but he was going on and on, 7-8 times a day, about how much he wants to play the game.  I finally had to tell him that I was going to uninstall the thing if he didn't stop bugging me about it.  Today, the used video card I bought for him came and he's upstairs happily playing his game now on his own computer.  One problem solved.  Last week, one of my hard drives started beeping (no, it was not a system sound from the computer, it was the drive - Stupid Maxtor) and the computer would lock up when it tried to load the info on the drive.  It had all of my music on it (around 9 gigabytes' worth) and my program files on it because of course, you install your program files to the larger drive so that the drive with the system files can zoom along unhindered by other tasks.  So all of my programs were gone too.

I've been rebuilding this week, trying to get everything to work again. 

Computer speaking and otherwise speaking as well.

I'm out of B-12, can you tell?

The kids' satellite dish receiver stopped receiving.  We went in to do the reset thing where you hold down the button for 10 seconds and the whole world is new again.  Pushed in the button and the button went all the way into the receiver panel and fell inside the receiver, leaving a gaping, button shaped hole in the console and a receiver that is still not receiving.  Called Dish Network and they are sending out a replacement receiver.  I know this not because of what the customer service rep told me, but because of the tracking number I received by email.  The CSR was an outsourced person in some foreign country and I could barely understand what she was saying.  After living on both Guam and in Europe, I'm pretty good with accents.  This one was undecipherable.  God knows what I agreed to and didn't realize it.

HSBC called 5 times in 4 hours about the same loan last night.  Somehow, I guess they thought I had manifested money in the past 45 minutes despite me telling them it wasn't going to happen.

The dogs have been escaping on a regular basis.  They are very sly about it and wait until we aren't looking, after we think we have completely dog-escape-proofed the yard, then they are gone.  This morning, around 7am, I saw Muggles, the least bright and most determined to escape of the three, nosing around the latched gate.  I knew there was absolutely no way they could get out of the gate, so I watched as she got more aggressive about screwing with this gate.  Finally, I went out there, gave the gate a good couple of tugs and sure enough, that sucker popped right open despite being latched.

Eric has gotten it temporarily secured. 

The ad company I applied with for EOS was taking forever and ever to approve my site and start running real ads instead of public service announcements.  I finally got fed up and took them off.  A friend of mine who had a contact there found out that the company doesn't like my site design and that was the problem.

That has been my ongoing concern about advertising.  I don't want to have any company or entity dictating what EOS should look like or write about.  I have been looking at a lot of designs because I am considering switching to Joomla, so my head is pretty full of different templates and layouts.  It's fairly mind-numbing.

Time to go to town for supplies. I hope I can buy a better attitude (or at least some B-12) while I'm there.  I need an adjustment.

I am sure I'll be better soon.  Right now, I'm just...


Be particular,



  The Screen Queen & Do I Look Fat In This? are written by the same author